Where you stand

Have you ever been at a place where you a facing the reality in such a way that you would rather not? I'm talking about the type of reality that is a bit hard to deal with, and you a more content with the "unknown." Not the unknown of what could be, but the unknown of where you stand. Thats where I'm at. 

In the past few things as things have become a "strain" here, I've reached out. There have just been things that been helpful to talk through, times in need of love, a good friend, and the like. My response, to reach out to the people you reach out to. All seems normal there. 

Its a step in being vulnerable. In being willing to expose your hurt, pain, joy, heartache, and excitement, there is a chance for a response. Its something I often take for granted. I just assume that of course people will respond to my willingness to being vulnerable and will be available. But, unfortunately thats not always the case. The irony in this, I often talk to the girls I work with that all you can control is you. You cannot control other's response to you. Thats right where I'm at.

The response I've gotten is finding out where I really stand with people. Time lets relationships fade and unless you put something into them, its just not there. Thats called reality. I'll call it harsh reality. So in this time of need, has brought on two more things. Great pain and blessing. To see the reality of where relationships stand. Its hard to let some go while its a blessing to see the fruit in others. 

I think I'm often content letting myself be blind, thinking "all is well." I'd only be a fool. Thats just so far from the truth. Perhaps its a parallel for the dirt in my life. I let myself be blind to the destruction and reality in my life when truth is right in front. I guess its time to start dealing with it. Thats what I should move towards. Where I stand.