*This entry came off a little negative. I hope it doesn't read that way, thats not my intention. I'm in a good place and thrilled with the joys of life--read on*
With time, I come to know the things I like and the things I don't like so much. Its a beautiful thing to dig a little bit deeper into your own interest, desires, hopes, anticipations, personality, and heart. I'm one of those loves-to-learn-as-much-about-myself-as-possible-and-enjoy-personality-tests-and-the-like kind of person. I learned that summer 06 while eating a local pizza joint beachside. Judge me all you want. What you think of me doesn't really affect me, I learned that spring 07 after a brutal, but much need convo.
There are some obvious things I've learned. Like how much I love to write and that it breathes life into me. That passion is a part of who I am and no matter how insignificant the matter, if I'm on board, you'll know it. Being misunderstood happens, a lot actually. I value communication and if done well, then it has much more to do with their reaction than the actual truth. I'm ok with that. I love asking questions, local coffee shops, and change.
It probably doesn't come as a surprise that I love new things, spontaneity, and adventure. Routine is a nightmare to me and I certainly don't like the expected. The freedom that exists in the unknown is exhilarating. Maybe thats why I love my life and am so happy with where I'm at--so much lies in front of me thats unknown. To try to figure it out gets me a hypothetical headache thinking of the hypothetical future. Its a shut down. But knowing that its unknown lights me up.
With this extreme lifestyle comes a bit of a curse. I can't tell you how often I answer the questions 'what next' 'when do you think you'll settle down and get married (as if I'm living a wild out of controlled life) 'where do you want to go from here' and the list goes on. I've come to hate justifying my life, future, decisions, and calling. Like most, I can be friendly about things and just answer the given question.
More than that, what gets under my skin is having to convince people of a spontaneous life. To ensure others thats its safe, ok, healthy, you name it. Can I not just live!! So what if I do something a little outside the box, maybe others should. Not much turns me off to people quite like the safety net they are swimming in. The 'are you sure thats ok/safe' and 'is that really the best idea' people. So maybe you should jump out of the rope strangling you and be n the midst of freedom!! In the meantime, I'll continue to surround myself with people that encourage me and push me to what they know I love. For this I'm thankful!
Thankful that I know that I love these things and thankful that people love me all the while. Being known and still loved. That, truly does define blessed. Blessings
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