Break from work not worship

Its a great danger in full time ministry. Really, its a great danger in full time scheduling and routines. To walk with Jesus on a regular basis and choose Him in your schedule and routine and then all of the sudden have a 'break.'

For me, its the danger in ministry specifically. I choose Jesus for a lot of reasons, I hope that doesn't sound prideful. I choose Him because I need to, because I'm so weighed down that I know I won't survive if I don't, because I pour out and in order for me to do that I need something to be pouring in, because its an expectation, because He is my savior, and the list goes on. Sometimes I find that Christianity has become so much a part of me that its dangerous. I can rattle something off at the right time and all is well. Its not because I'm some great Bible scholar who spends these broken hours in the Word, some, but I wish more, but its because I spend a lot of time digging, preparing, talking about the Word. Its what I do (and for the records, I love what I do. I job that I have the opportunity to do that is a complete joy)

My point is not that a lot of my hours are spent with a misaligned heart, although that might be what you think I'm trying to say. Forgive my pour communication. But rather my point is that because I spend so much time in my 'work life' doing 'Christian things' when I get a break, for say Christmas, I tend to stray away from choosing Jesus daily. I know that about myself and have made an effort avoid that. Knowing is half the battle. But its still a battle and one to won. Two weeks a long time to not spend with your best friend. Its eternity or so it seems to go with out communicating or learning about someone. I'm half way through this break, and its been light years better. Praise the Lord. But I confess, its been an internal fight each day to find time to choose God. Its what I want most and I know that, but in my day I see other things that I think I want more. 

What I'm coming to see is what I'm really taking a break from. I get a break from work, not worship. I get a break from long hours where I meet with people, work on admin, and sit through meetings. A break was never intended to be a break from Jesus. Its a break to provide flexibility and rest, pursuit and time. Not laziness and forgetfulness towards that which is important. Its a break from ministry not my God. Thats a good realization. If only I would daily remember that truth and walk in it.