No margin

I've recently been convicted about my lifestyle.

I live with no margin. Being out in Colorado, I have to follow the schedule that has been put in place for me. The schedule has been prayed over and carefully analyzed by those who know whats best for those going through the training. But I can't help to take a step back and see there is no room for error, no room for margin, no room for transition.

Take a normal day for example. We meet each morning from 830-1230 and then in the afternoon typically have something from 130-330. The mornings almost always run a few minutes over with questions and such and the afternoon meetings are bound to be in a different place. Campus is large and people use different means of transportation. Lunch must be eaten in between, a good 10 minute ride from the building, and then you have to make it to the 130 meeting. There is little room for travel time, eating time, down time.

Then in the afternoon, in my 'free time' people are often fighting for my time. Its not that I'm special, its just that things out here are busy and there is stuff to be done. Thus, there are things to do and little time to do it. Even things like intramurals hardly fit in. So my days fill up and soon its midnight and I've hardly called backed my family, checked my email (literally) or cracked open my bible and journal. Is that not horrible.

The horrible part is how it mirrors my life at home. Here, I can just blame it on someone else. I can say that I'm not in charge of the schedule and I 'have' to do all this. But it Tuscaloosa, it is I who has fallen into the dirty trap.

I go from staff meeting, to appointment, to campus, to errands, to appointment, to prep work, to leadership, to...The cycle sucks me in. It leaves no time for what I care about most. Relationships, being thorough, follow through. I claim that I have 'no time' to call someone back or that I was too busy to stop by. How pathetic is that. I have created no margin in my life.

My legs hurt from standing and my back hurts from crouching over the computer, just depends on the day--no margin.

So as this keeps coming up, I'm encouraged to make some changes, to create and abide within healthy boundaries. I'm motivated to invite accountability to this area of my life. I need some margin.